DRUNKTALEZ No1 THE DURSLEYS TAKE OVER THE MAGICAL WORLD!
by Drunktalez
Summary: The Dursley's having enough of that freak, Harry and his world they decide to do the only thing they can, TAKE OVER THE MAGICAL WORLD!(WARNING EXPLICATE SEX LATER AND DRUNK WRITER POTTY MOUTH, also bad grammer)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ALL CHARACTERS AND PLACES BELONG TO J.K. ROWLING I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING(wish I did though** **)**

 _The dursley's were mad, no scratch that they were bloody storming! This Damn freak and his bloody world had pushed them over the limit's for the last time, Now its time for revenge and they knew exactly how to do it._

 _They were currently in there basement filled with crates of assorted weapons, ranging from knife's all the way to rocket launcher's, but they were still missing one tiny thing! "These AR-15's I just ordered from my MI6 contact will be the last thing on our list before we start our revenge, It will be sweet and painful." Said Vernon as he had a big smile on his sweaty, fat mustached face._

 _Vernon was heavy set man with a full and thick mustache on his upper lip, Next to him on his right was his son Dudley who has a heavy set boy and had an attitude of a spoiled brat, and to his left has his loving wife Petunia who had a average and a slim figure in stark contrast of her husband and son, but don't be fooled by the men's heavy set under that blubber hid pounds and pounds of raw muscle that any normal man would be jealous of!_

" _I cant wait until I see potters' face when I steal that hotty little read head from him maybe after we are done breading, he can be fluffer and clean up my creampie's! Said dudley imagining the scene while creepily licking his lips chapped puffy lips perversely._

" _OH MY LITTLE DUDLEYKINS IS GROWING UP SO FAST!" Both Petunia and Vernon shouted as they comically grabbed hold, and squeezed the life out of dudley, But before anything else could be said or done a loud doorbell could be herd. "COMING!" screamed as he let go of duddley and bolted up running as fast as those stubby legs could carry him._

 _As Vernon Flung open the door a scrawny pimply brown hared Male UPS Worker said "Umm good day Mr. umm Dursley" He said looking at his cliché mail man clip bored, He put a hand up and cleared his throat and said "Its not everyday you get a package of this size, Just sign here and ill unload it and be on my way"…_

 _As the post man Wheeled in the giant wooden crate on what ever those things were called? Into the middle of there living room with a tip of the hat, and a good day he departed to where ever the hell they all come from?_

 _With Brian Shaw(A cookie for who ever knows who he is and is a fellow lifter.) like strength Vernon Heaved that fucker open. The Dursley family peered inside the crate and what they saw almost there face split in two, The last of what they needed for there daring plot 3 brand spanking new AR-15's pilled onto each other up top the ammo boxes._

 _As Vernon took out the first AR-15, He than proceeded to lift up the gun high in the air and shouted to the devil, and the earth "FINALLY WITH ALL THIS WE CAN FINNALY KILL THE FREAKS, AND TAKE OVER THE MAGICAL WORLD!" The dursley's than began to laugh manically in the air like supervillans "MUHAHAHAHA"._

 _A storm was coming for Harry, and for the magical world? what will become of them? What will they do? Will Dudley make harry his Fluffer? Will Vernon take over Vernors ginger ale? Find out on the next episode of…What ever the fuck this thing is IG?_

 **Shitty authors notes** **:**

 **Well that took me a couple of beers to write today. This is the first time I ever wrote anything here… so yeah that's pretty much it… Umm fav and follow, criticism if worthless on me because my I only write when im buzzed, so fav and follow IG.**


	2. Chapter 2

**ARE YOU READY FOR MORE OF MY CANCER?**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ALL CHARACTERS AND SETTING BELONG TO J. !**

 **15 Minutes later…**

" _YOU BETTER FUCKING TALK FREAK OR IM GONNA BLOW YOUR BLOODY GINGER HEAD OFF!" Vernon Yelled at there tortured captive._

 _Ronald Weasly was bloody terrified that this behemoth of man had held him down there for 2 days, They made withheld any meals from him and if that wasn't bad enough they made him listen to Justin Bieber "Baby" for the whole time depriving him of sleep! He sure was missing his mama wishing she would cook him tendies._

 _These crazy normie muggles were interrogating him on where Harry was, and how to get into the Ministry of Magic. He would never relent! He knew his crush and other best friend Hermione Granger, who would also got captured, and also his mommy would never make him tendies again if she found out!_

" _WELL IF YOU WONT TALK BOY, THAT'S OK BECAUSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BROKE AS SOON AS SHE SHAW DUDLEY!" The Walrus bound man said with a large grin before calling out "DUDLEY! GET THAT LITTLE GIRL DOWN HERE ITS TIME!_

 _Suddenly the door was flung open by a broad shouldered teenager and what appeared to be his crush Hermione. But something was wrong with what he was seeing she was naked as the day she was born wearing a spiked collar with a leash!_

 _(_ **CANCEROUS SEX SCENE AHEAD YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)**

" _Ron I want you to show Dudley daddy here what your working with!" Hermione gesturing her hands towards The Weasley boys' pants. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HERMIONE,AND WHY ARE YOU NAKED, AND WHY DID YOU REFER TO HIM AS DADDY?!" Ron was startled and confused as hell, he really wanted his Mommies Tendies._

" _I said show him what you are working with cuckold!" She screamed, suddenly she quickly walked towards him, than suddenly pulls down his pants with godlike speed, than suddenly the whole room started laughing at what they saw…_

" _BLIMEY THAT THING MUST BE ½ A BLOODY INCH IT LOOKS LIKE THE SIZE OF YOUR CLIT, SLAVE AND LOOK ARE CUCKOLD IS HARD AS WELL, I COULDN'T EVEN TELL FROM HIS PANTS BECAUSE HES SO SMALL HAHAHAHA!" Dudley yelled while laughing at the pitiful sight of Ronalds' baby maker._

" _Now master please show this Cuckold what you are working with!" Hermione said with a lust in her eye's. "With pleasure Slave" Dudley Smirk nearly tore his face off as he exposed himself to the universe._

 _Ron was in awe that a man could be so big when he was only ½ inch himself. "COME HERE RON!" she shouted out grabbing him by his head and forcing him one inch near Dudleys sausage._

" _Once you go muggle you never go back! That's why so many wizard women marry muggles because they don't need wands to compensate for there tiny pathetic dicks" Hermione said in a mocking tone while still holding his head near Dudleys 9 inch machete._

" _Now Ronnykins I want you to beg daddy to let him fuck me. And TELL HIM THANK YOU VERY MUCH! "_

 _Hermione yelled out while her grip turned to steel on Ronald's hair._

" _P..p..Please f… fuck Hermione…sir" Ron chocked out not trying to ball his eyes out from humiliation and fear._

" _NOW KISS HIS COCK YOU CUCKOLD"! Hermione shouted while forcing his head towards the diamond sword, Ron's perception of time slowed down as soon as he heard that he was going to have to kiss another mans peepee._

 _As his face was planted like a seed on Dudley's planter, he started struggling…, bad move…Suddenly the Meat sword exploded upwards and knocked out the cuckold flat on his ass._

 _Hermione was laughing so hard she nearly puked out her lunch, Serves that cuckold right thought he could make a move on her!_

" _Daddy the flew powder I was telling you about is in my bag, take it when your done showing me my place Daddy!"_

" _With pleasure slave, are fluffer will have quite the mess to clean up!" Dudley said with domination in his voice will licking his fat lips._

" _NOW GET OVER HER BITCH!" Dudley yelled out!_

" _Oh Vernon he is just like us you when he was , in more way than one I suppose" Petunia walked Dropping the hint on the audience._

" _He Makes me so proud! Now lets watch the action!" Vernon grinned while using toon force to make popcorn appear out of thin air! Chilin aint easy sometimes…_

 **(HAHAHA YOU FOOL NINJA SAY NO SEXY SCENE FOR U) (NEXT 2 OR CHAPTERS I PROMISE!)**

 **Shitty authors notes: I admit my biggest fetish is cuckolding others I just like to see that look of inferiority in the other dudes eyes as I fuck his women's brains out, I also like to make them lick my balls and eat out the creampie's.** **I ALSO hate feminism and im right wing(BUILD THE WALL). I hate EMO girls there all stupid depressing know it all used up cunts with stupid black glasses they all wear.**

 **SHITTY NOTES ACT 2: On a serious note this fic took 2 shots, 3 cigs and 6 beers to finish** **. I have been sober all week give me a break!**

 **Politics time: Everyone we need to stop political left wing bias in the media, Twitter, Facebook, Google all need to be fined for EVERY DISGUSTING violation of free speech! Also the left wing brats who get away with stuff like "lock baron trump in a cage full of pedos" Should have there tounges cutoff…That's right the SJW's let them get away with this shit…**


End file.
